bootycaller: who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me
knifefarty: if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
partybarackisinthehousetonight: pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
Parents: Don't talk to people on the internet.
Me: Trust me, I try to get them to talk to me all the time and they don't want to.
wild-lion: are you a traffic sign because stop
danimansutti: really nothing nicer than someone saying “saw this and thought of you”
earthnation: people who have the same name as me are competition
cumillionaire: If my jokes offend you: I’m sorry It won’t happen again 1 & 2 are lies You’re a pussy
bombliate: started from the bottom and i am currently still at the bottom
rabioheab: if you say that you don’t like any shitty pop music at all then you’re a liar
peasantbutts: if google isn’t your search engine i don’t trust you
pityreblogs: when i’m old i’m going to say “or as they said in my day “yolo swag””